Ego and lavender tea
I stopped reading the Seth material because I could not integrate it sufficiently into my life. A few days ago I heard a metaphysical teacher say, 'the physical personality is the Ego, you are the Ego, so stop hating on yourself'. I wonder, does he miss Tupac too? Because it comes down to this, the Seth material was never really 'fun' to read. Exciting, intriguing even necessary, but not fun.
Speaking of Tupac, I wonder what happened to the psychic data field that was he? Jane’s library was all very well as a concept, but it was all tables and akashic books, I do not recall her at any time speaking of going there to just look out of the window or drink a margharita.
I go outside at 4 a.m and sit in the dark.Sometimes I have been painting all-night or thinking about painting. Most nights , its just I, Ego, Though sometimes the neighbours cat comes bounding up the stairs with an ' I’ve been out all night' vigour in his furry stride. In joining me, he interrupts my quiet lavender tea drinking ponderings on the whereabouts of Tupac and Vincent with an entitlement meow, which translates as " Enough of that human...somethings are unknowable, now, where is my breakfast?"
Speaking of Vincent, later this morning I have my first delivery ever of sunflowers. I am rose babe normally but I fancy 'un-normalling' myself.
“Dear Theo.
…
It is queer that every time I try to reason with myself to get a clear idea of things, why I came here and that after all it is only an accident like any other, a terrible dismay and horror seizes me and prevents me from thinking. It is true that this is tending to diminish slightly, but it also seems to me to prove that there is quite definitely something or the other deranged in my brain, it is astounding to be afraid of nothing like this, and to be unable to rember things...”
Ever yours Vincent
Letter 594, 9 June 1889
...
at the time something fundamental was at stake and its resolution within me was a nexus within this incarnation. Papji seth was not fun, and so I put the books aside and went walkabout , found a bottomless pond and spent a time fishing . It was wise that I put the non fun books away .Wiser still that I am back,with the ten thousand creatures trawling in a disorderly fashion behind me. I never stopped loving the material,but I was unhappy at the inability to integrate me-in-me in a manner that made sense to me. There had to be more than a constant parroting of sethisms or deconstructing a concept.
Augustina
...
I just love taking Seth Speaks to the beach. Amid quiet and beautiful nature (as beauty is a trigger for my inner senses), the birds chirping happily, the wind blowing gently, the waves lapping at the shore, I so often reread the two chapters about Seth's activities, environment and endeavours and imagine fun things I will do when I fully reside in non-physical reality--the powers of gods to create as I wish. I imagine (i.e., start building in that moment-point) the landscapes I wish to be amidst, flying around if I like, think of what kind of study I might like to create and sit in, looking out my window at...what?--other vistas I've lived in while in physical reality, other-worldly ones I've dreamed of, imagine being in my disincarnate body form and exploding into a million points of light like fireworks, floating on the air, regrouping or expanding...
