Thanks for your story Silverflow and lavendergarden....and all the replies and for you brining up the topic truant.
As with some of the responses, I spent many years in darkness, struggling with depression, stuck in the past, blaming others, and haunted with toxic shame. I wasn't good enough, I wasn't likable, and so and so on. Everyday hurt so much. Over the years with love from friends, professionals, my 12-step group, myself, and the grace of so many others who touched me in ways I was even aware of I struggled slowly and painfully to see and accepts things differently. Along the way, I re-thought my concept of God, myself, and, oh...so many things.
I'm blessed to still remember a number of dreams I've had that marked a significant change, either before or after the changing event. Those memories still help me on some days. I'm blessed to be able to look at myself for all that I know I am and to feel, inside, it's good. I'm blessed to be in a state where I trust and admire my intuition, those voices inside me that I now enjoy listening to and have to rely on for a truer read of myself and others than my reason can give me many times. My inner voices used to move me to a deep sense of shame, now those voices are my greatest sense of sanity.
Thanks truant for asking for some personal stories. It was refreshing to remind myself of my history.
Silver